Dunbar's Number

Dunbar’s Number

The community that we live in is definitely a bigger is better type of place.  This seems to apply to our churches as well.  Whenever I talk to someone in the community  about Lightshine (whether they are Christians or not), inevitably the first question I get asked is, “How big is your church?”

It’s okay to ask this question.  I get it.  But maybe the size of the church isn’t the most important thing.  I’ll answer the question so as not to be accused of dodging it.  The answer is two fold.  Answer Part 1 - Size really doesn’t matter.  Answer Part 2 - It is small enough where you can know and be known.

According to the all-knowing Wikipedia, “Dunbar's number” is the suggested cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships. These are relationships in which an individual knows who each person is and how each person relates to every other person.

Dunbar’s magic number lies somewhere between 100-250 people (most go with 150).  That said, is it possible that less is really more; that good old Dunbar, whoever he was, was on to something.

I wonder if intentional small church might be coming back (I certainly hope so)?  Small church that values people over programs; small church in which every person knows and is known.  Bigger  isn’t always better.  Small church has a lot to offer that large churches cannot.

Maybe the question is this: What would Lightshine Church do if it someday grew beyond Dunbar’s magic number?  What would we do if we had more than 250 people?

Simple: we would plant another small, missional, start up church because Dunbar is on to something; maybe less is more!  

Fred Flintstone's Footmobile

Fred Flintstone’s Footmobile

Ro Sham Bo

As many of you already know, I have twin seventeen year old daughters (yes, I’m getting old and I certainly don’t need you to remind me).  Two daughters and only one 2002 Honda Accord that we bought from our friend J.R and K.R.  We knew that this was going to be a huge problem and for months we discussed possible solutions to the problem; how will they decide which one will get to drive the car?  

Ro, Sham, Bo.  This is how I solved the majority of my problems growing up (who am I kidding - I still do).  

Even and Odd

We came up with a few totally unacceptable ideas until one day shortly before their 16th birthday my wife said, “Corryn gets to drive on even days and Madison gets to drive on odd days.”  Genius!!!  Every day is either even or odd; it’s black and white, no gray area here!  It was a perfect solution that has served us very well.

Lightshine is the 4th church that I have been on staff with in the last 23 years.  My previous three churches were all wonderful experiences that helped to prepare me for what I am doing now.  

Staff Driven or People Driven?

What I learned in all three of my previous churches was that if anything was going to happen at all, if the church was going to move forward then it would be the church staff that would make it happen.  The staff drove the church.  The staff made stuff happen.  

No wonder these churches had such dynamic and talented people on staff.  Some of the people I worked with were absolutely amazing and extremely hard working!    

When the reality of planting a church came along I began to explore other ideas, other possibilities about who gets to drive.  We too have a very talented and hard working staff, but all of us together only represent 60 hours a week.  We aren’t even financially sustainable yet, so throwing money at the problem to hire a bigger staff wasn’t an option.  

The idea that we landed on is to allow everyone a turn behind the wheel.  At Lightshine, our people remind me of the awesome staffs I used to work with.  They are talented, creative, visionary, and very gifted.  They are also hard working because they care!  They are the ones that are making it happen; it’s the people that are driving the mission of God in and through Lightshine forward. 

This idea isn’t nearly as clean and simple as my wife’s brilliant solution to which daughter would get to drive the car, but it does get people off the sidelines and into the game.  It’s true, there are a lot of bad drivers out there, but at Lightshine we haven’t revoked anybody’s license (yet)!

If the car is gonna go, it’s gonna take a lot of people to push because right now………. 

we can’t even afford the gas!  #FredFlintstone #Footmobile #oneofthecoolestcarsever 

Robert Douglas - Organizing Pastor - Lightshine Church 

Kumbaya

Kumbaya

Anonymity

Some people like to be anonymous at Church, but that’s not easy to do in a small start up.  It’s easy to find anonymity in a mega-church if thats what you want.  You can slip in late and sit in the back, hoping that nobody will see you or maybe leave a little early before all the socializing begins.

Cheers

I’ve heard people describe Lightshine to their friends by saying that’s its like Cheers, where everybody knows your name.  Anonymity is nearly impossible in a small, start up church.  To me, that’s a good enough reason right there to commit to smallness.

Kumbaya

Last Sunday, in worship, we accidentally held hands in a circle for over 5 minutes (don’t ask, its a long story).  This situation felt great for a small, select few, but was downright horrifying for most (including me)!  I’m still recovering and praying that the visiting family that Sunday wasn’t scared away by the Kumbaya circle.  But maybe some uncomfortable hand holding is the small price we pay for community; for truly knowing others and being known by others.  To know and be known is part of what fellowship is all about, right?


At Lightshine if you try to sneak in late, everybody just turns around and audibly says hello to you, even if I’m in the middle of my sermon (and I’m ok with that).   People’s presence is appreciated, it’s valued, its important!  If you leave early, someone might follow you out the door and into the parking lot to see if everything is ok.

The only way to truly remain anonymous is to not show up!    But when one person doesn’t show up, it has an effect on the whole; a piece of the puzzle is missing.  I just had lunch with my friend Kyle, who had missed a few weekly worship gatherings in a row.  I simply told him that every time he missed corporate worship, multiple people asked me where he was.  Kyle was in worship the next Sunday!

Let People Know That You Care

It’s our job collectively to make sure that no one really remains anonymous.  When you notice that someone hasn’t been around for a while, get in touch with them and check in; let them know that you are thinking about them and that they are missed.  The reality of small church is that every single person’s presence makes a tremendous difference.  It’s truly not the same without you!

Hopefully we won’t have to do too much of that long hand holding stuff, but if it happens again because people are caring for one another, then I will just have to deal with it.  After all, maybe that is just a very small price to pay for real community.  Kumbaya.

Robert Douglas - Organizing Pastor - Lightshine Church

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